The Clown Car Update for February 20, 2022

Joseph Santorsa/ February 21, 2022/ New Post

Has the accounting firm Mazars USA suddenly dropped you like a turd after a breakfast burrito? Are they refusing to misrepresent your finances to banks, investors, and the IRS just because the state attorney general might implicate them in your fraud schemes? In our opinion, that is no way to treat a loyal customer who […]

The Clown Car Update for February 13, 2022

Joseph Santorsa/ February 13, 2022/ New Post

Ladies and Gentlemen: The story you are about to hear is true. The names have not been changed to expose the idiots. This is the city. Washington, D.C. My name is Friday. I carry a badge. My partner is Bill Barley. It was a cold day in the city. My partner and I had just […]

The Clown Car Update for February 6, 2022

Joseph Santorsa/ February 7, 2022/ New Post

File this week under the title “Your Last Shred of Dignity!” Why? Because this week, during the taping of the new season of “The Masked Singer,” two celebrity judges walked off the set when one of the losers was revealed to be none other than America’s human oil reserve and dental school cadaver, Rudy Giuliani. […]

The Clown Car Update for January 30, 2022

Joseph Santorsa/ January 30, 2022/ New Post

This week President Joe Biden was criticized by the media for what was described as an “open mic” incident. Well, it wasn’t as much of an “open mic” as it was an expression of “open contempt” toward Peter Doocy,  the witless spawn of Fox News’s Steve Doocy. But then The Clown Car Update felt there […]

The Clown Car Update for January 23, 2022

Joseph Santorsa/ January 23, 2022/ New Post

This week in an interview, Rep. Jamie Raskin revealed that several of the January 6 terrorists called Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s office to ask for items they had left behind. According to Raskin, they were “asking whether there was a lost and found because they forgot their phone there.” Well, these Darwin Award candidates have lost […]

The Clown Car Update for January 16, 2022

Joseph Santorsa/ January 16, 2022/ New Post

As if this pandemic was not dangerous enough, Dr. Anthony Fauci revealed that he has discovered a new and more deadly variant than either Omicron or Delta. As he testified to the Senate on Tuesday, he declared that the new virus infecting our country is Multiple Obnoxious Repulsive & Obstructive Nitwit Syndrome or M.O.R.O.N.S. The […]

The Clown Car Update for January 9, 2022

Joseph Santorsa/ January 11, 2022/ New Post

Do you want to run for Congress but cannot spell “Congress?” Have you ever had a DUI, or been charged with sex trafficking, domestic abuse, disorderly conduct, weapons violations, or rioting at the Capitol Building? Have you ever given birth in a pickup truck? Are you about to be evicted from your trailer park because […]

The Clown Car Update for January 2, 2022

Joseph Santorsa/ January 6, 2022/ New Post

t’s 2022 and the new year brings new opportunities for Donald Trump’s minions to provide us with endless entertainment. We at the Clown Car can hardly wait to hear the latest dates for Trump’s reinstatement with Vice President John F. Kennedy, Jr. But there is no need to wait around Dealey Plaza to see what […]

The Clown Car Update for December 19, 2021

Joseph Santorsa/ December 22, 2021/ New Post

On Tuesday the House Special Committee gave us all an early Christmas surprise wrapped up in a Fox News gift bag when it announced it would seek criminal contempt charges against former Trump Chief of Staff Mark Meadows for defying their subpoena. In doing so, Liz Cheney read some frantic text messages sent to Meadows […]

The Clown Car Update for December 12, 2021

Joseph Santorsa/ December 15, 2021/ New Post

It’s that time between Thanksgiving and Christmas when we all are asking ourselves. “Do we really have to buy a gift for that fart-producing, Trump-ass-kissing, pile of QAnon monkey-shit brother-in-law just because my sister forgot the condoms on prom night?!” Well, the answer is sadly “yes,” but it doesn’t have to be that hard. Surprise […]