Another week, another bunch of legal setbacks for King Tutan-Con-Man. First, the Manhattan DA seemed on the verge of indicting him for his brief encounter with a porn star and a spanking with a rolled up magazine. And in the stolen classified documents case, another one of Donald Little Dinger’s lawyers was ordered by a federal judge to give evidence to Jack Smith’s grand jury despite his claims of attorney-client privilege. And in Georgia, Uncle Scam faced almost certain indictment and RICO charges after a third recording surfaced of him trying to steal the election there. So whether Speaker Kevin McKissass or Jungle Jim Jordan likes it or not, it looks like their Commander-In-Beef will be spending some time washing his tidy whities at the Rikers Island laundromat.
And here at the Clown Car Update, we do not want our followers to miss out on the historic events that will be playing out in the next few months as Captain Tantastic perp-walks into the annals of history. So, in conjunction with photo retailer Mugg Pix, the Clown Car update is proud to offer the Prisoner Elect’s Commemorative Conviction Collection. Included in the package you get:
1 Mug Shot Mug
Barbie and Ken’s “Stormy Daniels/Donald Trump Edition” : This version of the famous doll duo recreates all the excitement of the fifteen seconds Captain Tantastic shared with Stormy, the event that “mushroomed” into history’s most famous criminal case! The set comes with flexible Donnie that can be bent over with his pants down ready to take a smack from Stormy with the included rolled up magazine. Doll house hotel suite and Russian hookers sold separately.
1 Pair of Latex Gloves
Tiny Ceramic Fingerprints
Zip-tie Handcuffs
So call today while supplies last. Inmates on Rikers are standing by to take your credit card information. And for 10% off your order, be sure to use the code “COVFEFE.”